Chapter 2 - Part 12
Mortal... you dare speak to me alone?
What? Should I be scared?
Huh?
If you think I’m intimidated by you, you need to grow up.
Growing up? My soul is decades old...
Then maybe you should act like it!
Kehehe... For an avid misanthrope to offer me this...
I suppose you can only hide your admiration for so long...
That is... definitely projection.
I would like to share a story with you.
Another one?
Your words drip with disdain, but I see the hunger in your eyes! You long for a Tanaka epic!
Haha! You need not starve anymore! I shall share with you the time I tamed the almighty devildog!
He sure knows how to pull things out of his ass...
Hm, yes... My quest began long before dawn broke, in a mansion in the sky.
Its rooftops were adorned with all kinds of hellish statues. Shrieking banshees, snarling goblins...
Did you know that sort of decor is intended to ward off evil spirits? How foolish! Has no one thought a demon might find himself at home among such imagery?
Anyway... the mansion belonged to two sisters. The women appeared young, yet carried themselves with a grace that was well beyond their years...
How could this be? It was a question that ate at me the entire time.
That is, until the pieces finally came together.
What do you think, mortal? What is the source of this contradiction?
How should I know? Nothing you’ve said has made any sense!
Are you so scared of the truth!? Answer me! What is the secret these sisters were hiding!?
...What was so strange about the sisters? That they were old, yet young at the same time?
This is so stupid... but Gundham seems adamant on an answer.
Let’s see... the secret these sisters were hiding was...
They’re vampires/ They’re ghosts/ They’re cursed
Those two... were ghosts?
FOOL! Such beings are trapped in limbo, only crossing into our dimension every now and then. They are incorporeal!
S-Stop shouting! I’m right here!
So that was wrong...
They’re vampires/ They’re ghosts/ They’re cursed
I don’t know... They had some kind of curse on them?
Such ignorance... Only a mortal could consider their condition a mere “curse”.
Jeez... How am I supposed to know how this works?
They’re vampires/ They’re ghosts/ They’re cursed
Those sisters... were they vampires?
Correct! They were indeed stalkers of the night!
Strangely enough, they were extremely courteous. Not once did they attempt to feed on me.
...Anyway, wasn't the point of your mission to tend to their pet?
You mean the devildog?
...Yes, the devildog.
A spectacle that creature was. It was a three-headed beast with skin of brimstone and eyes as black and cold as the night.
It was a beautiful sight to behold, but there is always a snare to these sorts of things.
The law of reality governs that everything must be balanced, for better or worse, and this creature was no exception.
Beyond that handsome exterior... laid a gruesome heart beating with vile intent!
What did he expect with a name like “devildog”!?
You see, just as the hound was being introduced to me, it attacked one of its mistresses!
Fortunately, I was able to subdue the beast.
Gahaha! Evil though that dame may have been, I could not stand by and let her perish!
How... heroic of you.
Please, you need not remind me.
I once had God beg me to become his champion, but that would mean surrendering this world to destruction.
There are damsels to be saved! Beasts to be tamed! That is the code I shall follow to the grave!
Is that supposed to impress me?
...You believe *I* am trying to impress *you*?
Hmph! The opinions of mortals mean nothing to me! You exist for *my* consumption, not the other way around!
Then why go out of your way to tell me your stupid story?
Whatever... I’ve wasted enough time with this manchild.
It’s nearly 3:00 p.m., and I still don’t have the party drinks.
When did I become so slack? This isn’t like me at all...
The supermarket’s just a short walk from here. I need to stop wasting time.
Now that I think about it, did the girls ever specify what drinks they wanted?
Damnit, don’t tell me I forgot!
With a sigh, I stepped forward and grabbed the handle of the entrance door.
...Eh?
From inside the supermarket... I could hear a pair of voices.
They were slightly muffled, but still clear enough for me to understand...
...and put a face to them.
Releasing the handle, I leaned forward and rested my ear against the door.
Well, you know... can you do me a little favor?
A little favor...?
I just overheard something... Apparently it's Miss Sonia's idea.
For a change of pace... It looks like the girls are secretly planning to go splash around at the beach.
It doesn't seem so secret now...
Wait, don't tell me you...!
As expected of Miss Sonia, splashing around in the sea is a nice idea.
I admire her so much it's shocking! My heart trembles around her so much it's about to burn out!
Sooooo, let's crash it together!
Wh-Why me!?
Well... it's weird to fake a coincidence all by yourself, isn't it?
So how about a scenario where you and I go to the beach, and then we run into the girls by "coincidence"?
Hey, you better not say no. I can't ask any of the other guys to help me with this...
Nekomaru can't keep his mouth shut to save his life... And Gundham is... well, Gundham. Fuyuhiko and Nagito are out of the question.
...I get where you're coming from, but I’m not in the mood right now.
Hey! I took the time to prepare your swimsuit, you know! A-And now you're just gonna walk all over my kind act!?
Y-You're snapping at me...!?
If you say no, I'm gonna bug you about it until you die!
Dammit... If I have no other choice, then...
Yaaahoooo! That's my Hajime! That's how a soul brother should act!
...So, what do I have to do?
Well, based on what I overheard... It looks like they're going to Chandler Beach on the second island.
...That's why we gotta head over to that diner first! Our plan is to be at the beach before they get there! And we're gonna act like it's just a coincidence!
Got it... so I need to go to the diner...
Yahoooo! I'm getting all excited now!
Seeing Miss Sonia in a bikini... I can’t wait!
...Ugh.
That was all I needed to hear.
I grabbed the handle of the entrance door, and pushed.
Eh? Someone is-
GYAAAAAAAH!! SHIIIT!
-I-I mean, sup, Mahiru!
H-Hi.
Any reason you’re here? Ah, not that I’m trying to pry or anything...
I’m here to get drinks.
Oh? ...What for?
I think you should know the answer to that.
Eep? What do you mean?
Don’t play dumb! I heard you from outside! You’re thinking of spying on us, aren’t you!?
AAAAAAH!!
I mean, no way!
Wait, but you heard us...
Ah! Shit!
Honestly, I can’t believe you two!
I better not be seeing you at the diner, alright? I’ll be there the whole time, just to make sure!
H-Hey, if you were really listening in on us, you’d know I wasn’t okay with this.
Then it should be easy for you to stay away from the diner!
C-Come on! You really want to ruin our fun like that?
You call spying “fun”!?
Argh, nevermind! You’re a girl, you wouldn’t get it!
Let’s... let’s just get outta here, Hajime! [leaves]
... [leaves]
Grumbling to themselves, the two boys left the supermarket.
Jeez! Can’t the guys here ever behave responsibly!?
...Would you like some help, Mahiru?
I... I’m fine...
Urgh... I’m already on my way to the diner... I just wanted to tell you something.
I am happy to listen, but... maybe... put the bottles down first.
O... Okay...
Sonia quickly helped me place the bottles on the ground.
So, what did you want to tell me?
It’s bad news about our beach party...
...Bad news?
Kazuichi and Hajime... they overheard our plans and wanted to spy on us.
Eh? Spy!?
Oh my... I thought Hajime was above such things!
...No comment on Kazuichi?
In his defense, I think Hajime was roped into it against his will...
Regardless, I don’t think we should call off the get-together.
Maybe we should just avoid the whole... swimming thing.
You are right. A lunch together is perfectly fine on its own.
Perhaps it will even serve as a welcome surprise for Hajime.
Again, no comment on Kazuichi?
I shall find the others and inform them of our new arrangement. See you soon! [leaves]
